2020 – Was It Horrible?
This morning I awoke early. As I glanced out the window I marvelled in the view of bright illuminated snow as the full moon shown it’s beautiful light down.
It was 5:30am ?
I felt emotionally charged to move to the couch for meditation, deep breath, delicious tea and some introspection on this so called “horrible” year of 2020.
When I allowed myself to organically bring pen to paper I observed my emotions through my words…they were calm.
I wrote out all the ways that 2020 could be perceived as horrible, and then reflected on how each way, energetically, was no different than any other year.
Every year we are faced with challenges.
Every year we blessed with gifts.
It is our journey as dynamic ever-evolving human beings ✨
To me 2020 has been a deep blessing.
I was shown my dark ugly insecure and victimized shadow side in a way I had never allowed myself to see it before.
I let it engulf me, take me over, become me.
I dropped so deep into it, that I lost myself. I lived scared, anxious, apathetic, bored and stagnant…I hated it, and was so addicted to it.
I gave up all my power to my outer reality.
I felt worthless as I watched my outer reality crumble from the perfectly laid out plan I had curated.
This inner agony ran so deep I started seeking help ~ a coach? No, deeper. A therapist? Maybe, but who. A doctor? Surely not…but maybe I’m too depressed to handle this on my own.
Eventually I found myself on the nearby golf course sobbing to the sky above for help.
I was shown a vision that I interpreted as “do nothing, be still, calm. this is the moment before the sun rises”.
In each moment to come I began to soften, surrender, release into this trust that I am not alone.
I committed to myself, my inner journey, explored my lack consciousness, my shadows, my fears, I showed up for me!
And now, months later as I reflect on this year I can honestly say 2020 has been my greatest blessing, as it brought me home to me.
2020 has shown me my own potential, my ability to heal, my strength to illuminate the shadows of lack, fear & doubt within me.
I have grown deep roots of confidence & faith & connection with my infinite unlimited source of LOVE.
And in my own growth in these areas, I have seen how intrinsically possible this is for ALL! We all have the ability to transcend the limitations of our shadow self and choose to align with love.
Each and every one of us.
Our paths will look different, but the experience of deep embodiment of love, confidence, abundance, faith and connection are 100% accessible, available and possible to all.
And so I arrive here on the last day of this calendar year, at my deepest understanding of my purpose;
I am here to transmute all energy into love.
All energy into love.
All into love.
Through my coaching, courses, mentorship, writing, yoga, Bellyfit, retreats and all, I align with the highest vibration of love for and of all.
This alignment is what allows us to collectively heal, together, alongside one another.
It’s beautiful isn’t it?
And so when I reflect on the essence of 2020, beyond the turmoil and chaos of the world being locked down, insecurity and fear running rampant and some of humanity’s darkest moments being broadcast across the globe…these are the words that come to mind: