Emotional Resiliency ~ Post-Conference Breakdown

There is this process in life that we experience regularly ~ all of us experience it, whether we are conscious of it or not ~ and it’s called expansion.

It’s like hitting our own glass ceiling of something ~ of support, of money, of love, of opportunities.

Basically every time we near this glass ceiling, we revert into past patterns to try to keep us from busting through this ceiling and into expansion.

Our ego wants us to stay where we are because it’s safe and predictable. On the other side of the glass ceiling could be everything we’ve ever desired, but it could also be so painful, so terrible, it could break us ~ and the ego is NOT on board for that risk.

So post-conference my ceiling for support & love was MAXED! I was literally SURROUNDED by love, admiration, words of kindness, hugs, support, congratulations, excitement, joy, Belief in me ~ All. The. Things.

And trust me, I had been working to expand myself to receive this level of support all year long. So, naturally, I thought I had it all figured out.

It turns out my human mind isn’t always right on the money when it comes to expansion & growth… I didn’t realize I still had barriers to move through.

Now ~ this is the point that most of us give up. We are soooo uncomfortable with this feeling of getting too much of what we want that we start to self sabotage and literally turn ourselves away from it all. We avoid the love. Say no to the opportunities. Ignore the guidance. Then we sink back into our old patterns, which feel so familiar, it’s as though we are welcomed home with a cozy blanket, cup of tea and cuddles from all our familiar fears and worries and patterns.

For me, I self sabotage with a desire to be invisible. To isolate. To ignore all the love, and retreat inward. In solitude I can remind myself that I’m not worthy, not good enough and that soon all this admiration will pass.

Chances are you’re saying to yourself…”Whaaat? But you just rocked out an entire weekend conference of self-development for 80+ human beings! How are you not happy?”

But isn’t this much like anything else in life? We set a goal, we work hard and achieve said goal. We may celebrate for an hour, a day, a week? But ultimately, we then simply move on to the next goal.

This is our nature as humans, to never be satisfied. To always be seeking the next thrill or achievement. And it can lead to a very confusing depression ~ one that looks like having everything together, you appear happy, you have all the things you want and need…and yet…there’s this deep inkling within you that something is missing.

Annnnnd, enter Emotional Resiliency!

This is THE most crucial moment to begin gently & graciously surrendering into that which we desire. This is where we use our intelligence around emotions to witness what is our emotion, and what is our pattern based from fear.

For me, this was my chance to keep choosing to be seen…
I started first with those close to me. I spent a week making so much time for my friends & family so I could ground down into their love, support & appreciation for who I am. I allowed myself to feel acknowledged & needed in the safety of my close community.

And then it expanded out.
I started sharing a part of me publicly; on my podcast, in a few posts, sharing my vulnerability authentically, from my heart.